Published: January 19, 2012
EXCLUSIVE by TOM FOOT

WHEN the time comes she will book a one-way air ticket knowing her final glimpse of London will be the city disappearing behind her as she sets off for Zurich.

Katherine Lennard has signed up for assisted suicide at the Dignitas centre in Switzerland.

The 55-year-old – a former primary school teacher and head of special needs in Camden – was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer two years ago.

In an interview explaining why she is among the handful of Britons who apply to Dignitas every year, Ms Lennard explains today how laws criminalising assisted suicide in this country mean she is facing up to the reality of spending her last days abroad.

She says she must make the trip while she is still well enough to get there.

At her home in Belsize Park, Ms Lennard spoke frankly and philosophically about the “loneliness” of terminal illness, the “taboo” surrounding death in this country and her firm, personal belief that, despite the often divisive debate around assisted suicide and Dignitas, what she is doing is right.

She talked of the absurd cruelty of legislation that prevents her from dying when and where she wants to, peacefully, without endangering her family with prosecution, and in her own home.

“At the beginning I was in a deep, dark manhole,” she said. “With the help of a friend, I climbed out, very slowly. I began to come to terms with and accept my future, whatever path it would take. After I signed up [to Dignitas], there was a sense of relief. I could see more clearly. I dared to climb up the wall, and look over it. I looked at death very hard. Nobody looks at death until they have to climb up that wall. It was silence on the other side, but I had to give it a voice.”

She added: “We are all going to die – hands up who doesn’t want a say in it? The arguments against it are pretty thin.”

At Dignitas, experts administer a lethal overdose of a barbiturate in a glass of water or fruit juice to induce a peaceful and painless death.

In her kitchen on Tuesday night, her son, Tommy, was having a bite to eat before meeting his father to watch Queens Park Rangers play.

The 17-year-old does not agree with his mother’s decision to go to Dignitas, a view he wants on the record. “I don’t think it’s right to end your own life – it feels like giving in. But I do accept that people should have the choice,” he said.

Ms Lennard said:  “I’m glad we are having a dialogue about this.”

She saw her father die from a similar condition seven years ago. It was a death, following seven weeks in hospital, that she does not wish for herself.

“My father’s time had come,” she said. “He needed to die. But the emphasis was always about keeping him alive. I don’t see why it should be like that. I think people are afraid of what they do not know. They do not want to talk about what happens after death or the process of dying.”

Ms Lennard added: “My death is not imminent, but I am forced now to look at how I might die due to our inadequate laws.”

In 2009, Ms Lennard was referred by her local GP to St John’s and Elizabeth Hospital in St John’s Wood, where she was told she had five tumours in her liver.

They were neuroendocrine tumours, a slow-growing form of cancer, known as NETs, which had spread from her lungs.

She said: “It was said of Steve Jobs [co-founder of Apple] that he had pancreatic cancer, but in fact he had NETs. He could have done more to publicise the profile of the condition. It is a very, very rare form of cancer and I have a very rare form of that cancer.”

The Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead, where she is being treated, has a NETs unit with an international reputation. In 2010, it was the first UK centre to be awarded a prestigious European Centre of Excellence award. Ms Lennard said she had been “incredibly lucky” to be seen there and was planning to fundraise for the NHS hospital in Pond Street throughout the year.

Life-saving operations have seen half of her liver and half a lung removed. The tumours were stabilised but Ms Lennard said she does not know how long she will live – she hopes and expects there could be many years to come.

But the certainty that she will not suffer a painful death has become a great comfort, she said.

“If you are in my position you are forced to look at your own mortality,” Ms Lennard said.

“I’m a woman who runs a family, and was head of special needs at a school. I like being in control. If I knew now that there was someone who could come with the medicine in my house when I knew it was the right time, I promise you there is a part of me that would be so much more peaceful. But that is not the case  because of the law as it stands at the moment.”

Although having a strong and close-knit family around her, and many friends, Ms Lennard described her position as “lonely”, adding: “You want to talk about dying, and death. But you can’t. Most people want to talk positively, they want to make it better.”

Lord Falconer, funded by the author Sir Terry Pratchett, who has Alzheimer’s disease, has headed a review of the law into assisted dying.

The Commission on Assisted Dying final report, published earlier this month, recommended that Parliament consider new safeguarding frameworks to permit terminally ill people – those who have a progressive, incurable condition – to end their life with a doctor’s assistance. The report found that already 0.2 per cent of deaths attended by doctors constitute voluntary euthanasia.

Often, it is the palliative care team who administer a soothing injection when all hope is lost. Ms Lennard said: “This is the way it used to be in this country, but mainly because of reaction in the US, doctors do not dare.”

Opponents of legal assisted suicide argue that some might consider it because they are worried their care needs are some form of burden to relatives.

Ms Lennard has studied the confusing  laws surrounding assisted suicide. “One of the things that keeps striking me, my husband is a lawyer and we had a conversation about it last night, is that assisted suicide remains a criminal offence in England,” she said.

“You can get up to 14 years. The guidance says those helping ‘loved ones’ to die should not be prosecuted. On the one hand you can get 14 years, but if you can prove you loved the person you don’t. Well what a fudge that is. It’s vague.”

Her sons are aged 20 and 17 and her husband 59. “I don’t see why my relatives should be involved in it, in the practical act of my death,” she said. “It would be a dirty, messy business. If you have to go to Switzerland, the horror of it is really inconceivable. To say goodbye to your children – they will never see you again – or should they come out with me? Why not do this in my own bedroom?”

Ms Lennard speaks of plans for the rest of her life optimistically and her campaign for a better understanding
of NETs.

She has started painting – “plagiarising” great works by artists like Matisse – and wants to write, read and travel to new places. “Not only to discover new things,” she said, “but also to enjoy new places.”

• Ms Lennard would like to know what the wider public thinks about assisted suicide and has suggested the New Journal asks readers’ opinions.

The Dignitas way – 700 sign up in this country

DIGNITAS, a not-for-profit organisation based near Zurich, aims to ensure members “live and die with dignity” in accordance with Swiss law.

Members ready to die write explaining their reasons. A doctor decides whether, based on  medical history, a fatal dose can be administered.

There are then two appointments – to check records and prescribe drugs – before two Dignitas staff members organise and witness the death. Cost is typically around £4,000, but those who cannot afford the fees may pay less.

There are currently 694 members of Dignitas living in the UK.